


Who Could Have Seen This Coming?

by crone_zone



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Atsumu gets sad sometimes folks :(, Atsumu has low self-esteem, Attempt at Humor, Author came here to be happy, Bisexual Atsumu, Bokuto and Hinata share one brain cell, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, I love my volleyball children, Implied Sexual Content, Light!! references to anxiety, M/M, MSBY Black Jackals - Freeform, Mutual Pining, No Homophobia, Non-Explicit Sex, Opposites Attract, Pining Atsumu, Post-Time Skip, Sakusa Kiyoomi-centric, Sakusa has OCD, Sakusa has a cat, Sakusa has anxiety, Sakusa's best friend is Komori, Swearing, Team as Family, They are both lonely, They are surprisingly good at helping each other, mentions of food & alcohol, no beta we die like men, side bokuaka, side kagehina, side osasuna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24599536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crone_zone/pseuds/crone_zone
Summary: Peering out the side of his eyes at the man walking beside him, Sakusa wondered why he’d impulsively changed his mind about his plans this evening when he’d noticed Miya’s reluctance. Surely he wasn’t worried about this asshole, was he?--In which Sakusa impulsively invites Atsumu over to his apartment when he sees he's upset and something entirely unexpected happens: he realizes he likes this asshole. Cue [off-camera]sex, mutual confessions, insecurity, and adorable losers who are opposite in all the right ways.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 93
Kudos: 1147
Collections: Haikyuu, SakuAtsu Fics for Midterm Procrastination, Sakuatsu, ~SakuAtsu~





	1. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakusa has no idea why he's being nice to this asshole. Until he ends up kissing him, and, well, things escalate from there. What is even more surprising is how nice it feels to be vulnerable with Atsumu...

Sakusa Kiyoomi collapsed backwards onto his bed, letting out a gentle huff before falling silent. He stared up at white stucco, letting his too-fast heartbeat slowly return to normal, wondering why all of a sudden there were stars on his bedroom ceiling. _Huh,_ he thought, as he traced these new constellations with too-wide eyes. _That wasn’t how I expected tonight to go._

He thought back to earlier this evening, when the rest of the Black Jackals had agreed in the locker room to go out to an izakaya for the evening, it being their day off tomorrow. Sakusa had gotten better at social gatherings such as these and often enjoyed them despite himself, so long as a few conditions were met. He wasn’t solitary by nature, but had spent a good portion of his life with a brain much too loud to allow him to tolerate much by way of company. He did actually like these teammates, now that he’d gotten used to them (and they to him). He found he didn’t even mind Bokuto’s boisterousness as much anymore, especially since Hinata had joined and given Bokuto an outlet for all that energy by matching it toe-to-toe with his own. Even as the most recent addition of only one or two months, Hinata had quickly learned how to navigate Sakusa’s complex social landscape. Gratitude for this team filled him as he thought that maybe he’d finally set a course away from the silence and solitude that came with being misunderstood.

“Hey, do you wanna come too, Sakusa-san?” It was Hinata, looking up at him from a comfortable few feet away with a bright smile. Sakusa softly returned the smile and thought he might say yes this time when the sound of Miya Atsumu on the other side of the locker room quietly ( _quietly?!_ ) declining Meian’s request to join them almost made him whip his head around. _Strange,_ Sakusa thought, quickly calculating. It was incredibly rare that Miya skipped out on team activities. It was even unlike him to not have been involved in making the plans himself, not to mention pestering Sakusa and any other reluctant team members into joining.

“No thank you,” Sakusa said to Hinata, whose face fell slightly. “Ask me again next time,” he added, trying to make his voice sound as friendly as he could, and Hinata’s bright smile was back. Hinata wished him a good night and was off in Bokuto’s direction, leaping onto his back and pointing the way out of the locker room. Bokuto yelled and took off out the door with Hinata’s legs gripped under his arms, Barnes laughing and filming them with his phone while lumbering out the door after them on a still-sore knee. Meian sighed, shouldering his bag, and stepped out into the hall calling after them all to calm down. Sakusa smiled to himself as he slipped on his mask and gathered up the last of his belongings before turning around to see only Miya still in the room, moving slowly as he packed up. _And then there’s him,_ Sakusa thought to himself. The teammate who didn’t fill Sakusa with that same warm gratitude that the rest of them did, but he certainly made him feel… something. Hatred, probably.

Assuming that Miya’s cagey attitude wouldn’t respond to a direct approach since it never had before, Sakusa hovered around his locker briefly pretending to be occupied with his phone. When he sensed Miya was about to finish up Sakusa proceeded slowly towards the door, hearing Miya’s locker close and his footsteps fall in behind him.

“Not going out tonight?” Sakusa asked over his shoulder as he held the door, hoping desperately that he sounded disinterested enough not to raise suspicion. They stepped out into the cool late afternoon. Though he welcomed the relief of fall’s comfortable weather, he definitely wasn’t looking forward to another flu season. He shivered and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, and not because of the afternoon’s cool breeze. Peering out the side of his eyes at the man walking beside him, Sakusa wondered why he’d impulsively changed his mind about his plans this evening when he’d noticed Miya’s reluctance. Surely he wasn’t worried about this asshole, was he?

“Not feeling it,” came the flat reply, with very little energy to it. _Even stranger,_ thought Sakusa. Miya usually jumped on any opportunity for attention, especially from Sakusa since it was so rare for him to even be instigating a conversation. They walked for a minute in silence, which was normal for Sakusa but not so for the man beside him. Feeling impulse taking over once again, Sakusa inhaled quietly and steeled himself.

“Miya.” Exhale.

A small hum in reply.

“I have a few beers in my fridge. Would you like to come over?”

His offer was met with a look of surprise, and after a brief pause came the hesitant “…sure?” in reply, ending in an upward inflection as if it was a question. Sakusa nodded.

“I—I showered!” Miya exclaimed, a little over-loud, especially since he’d been so quiet before. Sakusa already knew this since he had seen him come out of the Jackals’ showers not fifteen minutes ago. “An’ my clothes are straight outta the laundry this morning! An’ I’ll do whatever else ya need me to—“

“Fine,” Sakusa cut him off. “That’s adequate for now.” He kept a neutral expression but he was pleased nonetheless.

Miya seemed at the very least distracted from his previous thoughts, and he smiled crookedly at Sakusa. “I can’t believe I’m goin’ to yer apartment!” he said. “Me!” pointing stupidly at himself, “in _your_ apartment!”

“You go to people’s apartments all the time. I hear you sometimes even barge in unannounced. Do you hate your own company so much that you have to force it on everyone else?” Sakusa countered, but he felt easier. This Miya was the Miya he was used to handling, not the sombre one from before.

Miya snorted, ploughing through Sakusa’s snark unbothered as usual. “Yer not just _people_ , Omi-omi. You’re _you!_ Am I the first teammate ye’v had over?” Sakusa cringed a little at that still-regrettable-after-all-this-time nickname and wondered what the difference was between him and other people according to Miya Atsumu, but decided not to ask.

“From the Jackals, yes. But I have other visitors. Komori, my cousin and closest friend; you might actually know him as my teammate from high school and the libero of Raijin. Sometimes the captain from my high school, Iizuna, visits when he’s in town with the Hornets, and so does Ushijima when the Adlers are around. And recently Akaashi has started to come for tea while he waits for Bokuto to finish interviews.” Sakusa didn’t know why he felt he had to defend himself and give this long-winded explanation to Miya that yes, he had people over and yes, it was a totally normal thing for him and no, there was nothing special so don’t get excited.

“I can see ya gettin’ along with Akaashi. Yer both so…” he trailed off, leaving Sakusa wondering what he had been meaning to say. “Wait, does this mean ya don’t hate me?”

“No.”

“No, it doesn’t mean ya don’t hate me, or No, ya don’t hate me?”

Sakusa just rolled his eyes in response. He pulled them onto the street that his small walk-up apartment building was on, and they climbed the four flights of stairs to the top. He unlocked his door and ushered in an excited-looking Miya.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” Miya called into the apartment as he quickly removed his shoes then stood still where he was, seemingly awaiting further instruction. Sakusa quickly calculated. They’d both just had showers, put on clean clothes, walked here without passing anyone, and had only touched two doors before reaching his own. Easy.

“Put your shoes there, your bag there, and hang your jacket there,” Sakusa said, pointing out each designated place as he did the same with his own, leaving plenty of space so that his things wouldn’t be touching Miya’s. Gesturing to a door next to him, he continued, “and then wash your hands in here after I’m done. Don’t touch anything until you’ve washed your hands. _Thoroughly_ ,” he emphasized. “I’ll get you a hand-towel.”

“That’s it?” Miya asked. Sakusa looked at him.

“What do you mean, that’s it?” He replied as he pulled off his mask and put it into a small garbage can beside the door.

“I-I mean, well, I was ‘specting a more… elaborate process?” Miya said. Sakusa squinted at him. “It’s fine! It’s just, that’s no more than I do when I get back to my apartment.” He continued. Sakusa had to admit he was a tad surprised that Miya even put basic effort into hygiene, since he had always thought that despite his put-together appearance Miya mostly did everything he did for the benefit of his public image. He’d imagined that any effort dropped immediately with Miya’s private self in his private space. He found it a welcome surprise that Miya had more incentive to be hygienic than just vanity, considering he _had_ just invited him into his pristine apartment. Although, maybe he shouldn’t jump to conclusions not having seen Miya’s own apartment. He slipped into the bathroom and washed his hands carefully, then splashed some water on his face and washed that too.

“Were you expecting a sterilization antechamber?” He deadpanned, towelling off then pulling out an antibacterial wipe and giving the sink a quick clean.

“Well, yeah, t’ be honest,” Miya laughed. Sakusa stepped out of the bathroom, throwing a clean hand-towel directly into stupid Miya’s stupid laughing face as he left him to do the same.

“Kitchen’s that way,” he said, pointing, then used another wipe to give the outside doorknob and his keys a once-over before depositing the wipe in the small garbage can at the door. He did a quick detour to the den where he knew his cat would be hiding from the unknown intruder, and found her curled up on the windowsill behind the curtain, looking out the window. He gave her a quick scratch but her expression told him to leave her there so he quietly left and walked through the living room to turn on his tv. He pulled up a recorded Division 2 match he’d been meaning to rewatch, Frogs vs. Lions, turning the volume up a bit to be able to hear from the across the counter that separated this room into the two distinct parts of the kitchen and the living room.

In the kitchen, he pulled out two beers and placed them next to two clean glasses, then stood looking in his fridge. It was still early, sometime just after 4pm, but he wondered if Miya would be hungry. He heard soft footsteps behind him.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, not turning around.

“Not yet, thanks,” came the reply. Sakusa turned to see Miya trying to act casual while also wearing an expression that seemed to say he wasn’t sure he should even be touching the floor with his feet. He snickered a bit, which made Miya’s eyes flick to his. He could tell by the few droplets of water on the edge of Miya’s fringe that he had also washed his face, and he found himself again quite pleased at this little effort in fastidiousness that he was surprised to see in Miya.

“Please sit down Miya, and yes, you can touch the counter. Relax a bit, will you” he said, closing the fridge and gesturing to the two high seats at the counter. A small, slightly embarrassed huff was all the response he got, but thankfully Miya did seem to relax a bit and slid onto the nearest seat. Sakusa poured Miya’s beer and placed it in front of him on the counter, then stepped over the second stool to sit as he poured his own.

“Cheers,” Miya said, lifting his beer and taking a sip. Sakusa did the same. From their spot at the counter they had a clear view across to where the tv showed the first set of the game. He watched it quietly, hoping that Miya would get more comfortable the longer he was in his apartment without too much prodding by him, given how inexperienced he was at making people feel at ease. This was also, again, not the Miya he was used to dealing with. He supposed despite Miya’s love of pushing peoples’ buttons, even he was good at respecting Sakusa’s unique boundaries. But this version of Miya was slightly awkward, and seemingly conscientious. Maybe since Miya was used to seeing Sakusa in places and situations that made his idiosyncrasies worse, he was surprised at the comfort and ease with which Sakusa filled his own space and even allowed someone else into it. He internally shrugged, not caring to dwell more on it now. He’d done therapy for years and was glad he’d gotten to a point where he could live life comfortably for the most part, with only slightly more rigid boundaries than the average person. Admittedly, Miya could also just be surprised that Sakusa was not currently snapping viciously at him, and was waiting for that shoe to drop. He wasn’t sure how or why he’d gotten into this specific scenario where Miya was sitting beside him drinking his beer quietly and politely, but Sakusa was oddly happy with the outcome of his impulsive invite, especially since it had seemed that Miya had been down earlier.

Sakusa didn’t know what had caused Miya’s mood earlier or how to broach the topic. He didn’t even know if Miya would want to talk to him about it since this was the first time they’d hung out like this, and you could hardly call them friends for that. He thought offering company was enough, considering one of the few things he did know for certain about Miya despite his constant posturing was that he didn’t like being alone. And that was something that Sakusa could completely understand.

They sat together and watched, occasionally commenting on the proceedings of the game, sipping on their beer. He knew the outcome since he’d already seen it but Miya hadn’t so he exclaimed excitedly at some of the more intense rallies. When they were both nearing the bottom of their glasses, Sakusa got up to get them each another. Once again, he poured and passed the glass back to Miya, who received it carefully without touching his hand. Sakusa thought this avoidance was a bit unnecessary since he’d just been fully holding the glass that Miya had been holding and drinking from for the past half hour, though he knew Miya was once again trying to follow the boundaries Sakusa himself had set. He told himself not to be disappointed that their fingers hadn’t brushed even a little bit. Instead, he purposefully bumped their thighs together briefly as he shuffled back into his seat. If Miya noticed, he didn’t say anything.

“Cheers,” this time Sakusa said it, hiding his face in his beer in case it betrayed him with a blush dusting across his usually stoic features. He looked back to the tv. Behind the screen, he could see the sky slowly slipping from afternoon to evening. Having a second beer before dinner was maybe a bit reckless for Sakusa on a normal night, but he found he didn’t mind tonight. He was pleased that not only was there very little trace of Miya's previous sombre mood, but he was also seemingly getting more comfortable as he ventured to speak about topics other than the match.

“This is a nice apartment ye’v got, Omi-kun,” he said, eyeing the row of tidy houseplants lined up at the living room window and the sliding door that led out to a small balcony where he could just see a couple of herb planters. “But why didn’t ye take one in the same building as the rest o’ the team?” When new Jackals players were offered a contract, they were given the option to rent from a specific apartment building. Older players often moved out to be with partners or families or as they settled into their routine with the team, but Sakusa knew that right now at the very least Hinata, Bokuto, and Miya were all in the same building. He supposed that was why they were always visiting each other unannounced. Sakusa was certain that none of those three had the same qualms about privacy that he himself had, and he guessed that their loud complaints in the locker room at loss of sleep or invaded privacy were just talk.

“I’m a little particular about my living space,” he said dryly. Miya acknowledged this with a chuckle. “I don’t like elevators, and I wanted a second bathroom in the front hallway.” He’d been lucky to find this apartment, and since he and most of the team walked in the same direction after practice he guessed it was in a similar neighbourhood to the larger complex they lived at anyways.

“My place is on the sixth floor at the complex, so I use the stairs too. Li’l extra cardio, right? I’ve never been one to skip leg day, gotta do somethin’ to keep these thighs,” he said, smacking himself for emphasis on what Sakusa had to admit were very impressive quads. “Shouyou-kun uses the stairs there, but he lives on the 24th floor. Said somethin’ ‘bout missing biking over a mountain every day. Crazy kid,” he said, and Sakusa’s lips quirked in a small smile. “Ye should come over to mine sometime. For this. Again,” Miya said, somewhat awkwardly, pointing between their beers. Sakusa found himself giving Miya a small nod and taking another sip to hide the pleased expression he thought might be visible on his face, eyes turning to the tv but not before he thought he saw a pink blush on Miya’s cheeks.

“So.”

“So.”

“Why’re ya bein’ nice to me all of a sudden?” Miya asked. Sakusa didn’t answer right away, not quite sure what to say. He guessed his expression remained pretty impenetrable as usual since Miya seemed to get a little anxious, beginning to ramble. “It’s not that I mind, ya know? It’s just, yer usually so mad at me, ye even seem a bit mad at me now even though I _swear_ I just saw ye smile a bit, but yer hangin’ out with me in yer own apartment?” he spoke quickly. “I’m real grateful, I was in a big mood before an’ was totally gonna go sulk at home about it, but then ye came out of the blue offerin’ an evening an’—”

“What were you in a bad mood about earlier, Miya?” Sakusa interrupted, hoping that it would distract Miya from his own question because Sakusa had _no idea_ why he was suddenly being nice to him. And, he admitted to himself, he actually for some reason did care to know what had caused Miya’s mood earlier. Miya looked away, his face a little more vulnerable than Sakusa had seen before. Yet another new side of Miya. He wondered how many he’d see tonight. He shuffled a little to turn more towards him when he didn’t get an answer right away, trying not to think about the fact that their legs bumped again after having just thought about the impressiveness of Miya’s thighs only a minute earlier.

“It’s complicated,” the answer finally came.

“Right,” answered Sakusa, glancing back to the tv, figuring he’d been right earlier in assuming Miya wouldn’t feel they were acquainted enough to talk about the sorts of things they were currently tiptoeing around. That was slightly disappointing but fair, he guessed.

“Omi-kun.” Miya said quietly, turning to look at him again. He hummed in response, pulling his own eyes back from the tv to look at Miya. “You never answered me before.”

“You’ll have to be more specific, Miya, I’m not sure what—”

“Do ya…hate me?” Miya interrupted. He was looking down at his hands now, fidgeting slightly. His face was pinkish again, but Sakusa couldn’t tell if it was because he was almost through beer number two, or something else. Sakusa couldn’t even fathom how this man, who until tonight he’d thought was confident and thick-skinned to the point of assholery, could look so concerned about what someone else thought about him. And that that someone would be him, Sakusa Kiyoomi, the sour hypochondriac with weird joints who gloomed at everyone from the corner and snapped at anyone who tried to approach him. He quickly catalogued this insecurity amongst the other new sides of Miya he’d witnessed tonight; this new expression on Miya's face tugged at his heartstrings in a way he'd never felt before. A realization washed over him like a tidal wave, and he once again acted on the impulse that had had him changing his plans twice earlier in the evening. He leaned forward, everything seeming in slow motion except his heartbeat as Miya’s eyes rose to meet his and his expression changed from surprise to realization to… anticipation? He watched as Miya’s eyes closed and his face turned up to meet Sakusa’s as he came within a hair’s breadth. He paused for the most infinitesimal of moments to check Miya’s expression again, and finding it willing he plunged forward that final few millimetres.

And so, their lips met.

A sweet, gentle, exploratory touch of their lips, moving against each other briefly before Sakusa pulled away slightly. “I don’t hate you, Atsumu,” he whispered, still close enough to brush Miya’s lips as he spoke. He saw a shiver run up Miya’s body at the sound of his first name said so softly and so close, and the sight of it made heat rise through him. And then Miya kissed _him_ and Sakusa responded a little more insistently this time, pushing a hand through the short hair on the side of Miya’s head to the nape of his neck pulling him into their kiss, placing his other hand on Miya’s knee to balance as he leaned into him. Miya’s lips responded to his kissing eagerly and he hummed quietly in pleasure at Sakusa’s touch but he seemed to be frozen in his stool, and as Sakusa’s lips moved off his mouth to follow the length of his jaw down to his neck he finally noticed Miya’s hand raised, moving forward then clenching and pulling back repeatedly. He almost laughed as he understood, but instead he brought his lips to Miya’s ear.

“Touch me,” he growled softly, earning him a small strangled noise of surprise, but that seemed to be all the encouragement Miya needed. Both hands shot up to either side of Sakusa’s face grasping him tightly, pulling his lips back to his. Then he slid his hands over Sakusa’s shoulders, wrapping one arm around the back of his neck and pushing the other up through dark curls. Sakusa responded in kind by wrapping his long arms around Miya’s midsection tightly, pulling Miya off his stool to straddle his thigh. Without breaking their kiss Miya swung himself forward to settle fully onto his lap.

Before long, Sakusa was pulling a ravenous Miya down his hallway to his bedroom.

  
  


And now here Sakusa was, staring up at his ceiling silently, waiting for his heart rate to return to normal. _Did I know this was going to happen?_ He thought to himself. He felt a stare on his face and turned towards Miya, still panting slightly on the bed beside him. He supposed he’d been quiet for a little too long as he’d thought over the events that had brought them here, trying to make sense of it all, and Miya looked a little anxious again.

“I think we did that all wrong,” he blurted out.

Sakusa raised an eyebrow. “I thought the sex was adequate, and you seemed to think so as well,” Sakusa said, gesturing to Miya’s chest which was covered in his own cum and at least one hickey starting to bloom.

“Adequate?!” Miya squeaked. “It was great! Please tell me it wasn’t just adequate for ya? No, no, I wasn’t talkin’ about th’ sex, I was talkin’ about, like, well, we did things in the wrong order? Like we just had sex before anythin’ else?”

“I fail to see what’s so hard to grasp, Miya. Even I’ve had a one-night stand before.” He sat up and grabbed a tissue to pull his condom off, depositing it carefully in the trash can beside the bed. He briefly thought that it would be nice to shower again.

“This wasn’t a one-night stand!” Miya exclaimed.

“Oh?” Sakusa turned and grinned wolfishly down at him. “How do you know it won’t be?”

“Because we see each other every day! We work together! It’s different from a stranger ye bone and forget, an’ you know it!” Miya was looking a little bit too flustered now. Sakusa grabbed a few more tissues and gently started wiping strands of cum off Miya’s chest. _Damn, that’s hot,_ he thought momentarily before Miya tried to sit up and brush his hands away.

“I’ll clean myself up, Omi-kun, ye don’t have to—”

“Stop. It’s fine,” he said, gently pushing Miya back down onto the bed. “This is a mess I kind of like,” he said through a half-smile. Though he would definitely force Miya to take another shower too. Miya’s eyes were as big as saucers. “I have to say, Miya, you’re a lot shyer about this whole thing than I thought you’d be,” he said with a chuckle. Add it to the list of things he was learning about Miya tonight. Miya blushed but didn’t look away from him. “The way I see it, we have two options. We keep fucking, or we don’t.” Miya groaned and threw his elbow over his face, covering his eyes.

“Ye make it sound so simple,” he said.

“It is that simple,” Sakusa replied. “What are you so caught up on? Everyone in the locker room has to tolerate you going into graphic detail about your sex life all the time. You called yourself an incorrigible slut to Coach’s face when he asked why you were sore without batting an eye. You made that educational video about bisexuality and posted it on the Jackals’ social media on Pride Week. You’ve been bombarded by thirst tweets for years and you even seem to enjoy that kind of attention. Why on earth are you so bashful about sex all of a sudden?”

“Because it’s _you_ ,” Miya burst out, briefly lifting his elbow off his eyes to look at Sakusa, before burying his face even more with both elbows.

“I like you. But ye’v always held me at arm’s length. An’ tonight for the first time I thought maybe we were goin’ somewhere, that we’d talk an’ find out more about each other an’ maybe ye’d start to like me a little bit too an’ then maybe we could go on dates. But then ye got all sexy an’ told me to touch ya an’ I’ve wanted to for so long an’ now yer talkin’ like we’re either gonna be fuck buddies or pretend it never happened an’ go back to whatever we were before tonight,” he said from beneath his elbows.

“Your idea of courtship sounds incredibly chaste for someone who was just whispering such lewd things in my ear from beneath me,” Sakusa said teasingly. He should have known that Miya wouldn’t be able to shut up even during sex, although Sakusa was surprised to admit that he had enjoyed that part of it immensely.

“Argh—Kiyoomi, quit teasin’, can ya tell me how ya feel about me, please? I wasn’t even sure ya were gay before now!” He wailed forlornly, and Sakusa supposed he might have been a little too careless with his teasing given how flustered Miya continued to be. He sighed. He guessed Miya wasn’t the only one who pushed peoples’ buttons sometimes.

“I don’t know how I feel about you,” he answered honestly. Miya groaned again. He guessed he was going to have to give an explanation, and knowing that it would be difficult he thought it would be best if he showered first to quiet his brain. “Miya,” he tried to tug his arms away from his eyes, but Miya tensed and refused to budge. “Miya,” slightly sharper. No response. This wasn’t getting him anywhere, and he found himself getting more anxious to be in the shower. He sighed again.

“Atsumu,” he tried, more gently this time. A muffled noise, between a groan and a whimper.

“Please,” he continued, even softer. At that, the arms finally relaxed and Sakusa tugged them off Miya’s face. He looked up at Sakusa warily.

“Come. Shower with me, and then I’ll cook us dinner. We’ll talk about it.” Miya gulped, eyes still distrustful, but he slowly nodded. Sakusa pulled his hand and guided them off the bed into the washroom by his bedroom, turning the shower on and checking the temperature. Once he was satisfied, he pushed Miya in first gently but firmly and followed closely behind. The water poured over them, steam curling off in waves. The relief was instantaneous for Sakusa, but Miya seemed to still be hesitant and unsure, so Sakusa decided to take the lead here too. He lathered up his hands with soap and began sudsing Miya, who looked at him with a confused though slightly adoring expression. Sakusa just focused on his hands, the shower and the soap helping him gather his thoughts; after all, this was his favourite place to be.

“Omi-kun, just where is all of this gentle sweetness comin’ from? Yer makin’ this so hard,” Miya whined.

“Would you just give me a minute? I’m trying to think and give you an answer. Not all of us spend all our time pining you know,” he said, but less sharply than usual. Miya gave him a look but stayed silent, waiting.

Sakusa took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m gay. I’ve known since high school, although it was irrelevant then because I wouldn’t get within two metres of anybody. If you think I’ve got obsessive habits now, it’s nothing like I was back then. My OCD and all the anxiety that comes with it had me in a strangehold for years. It’s a long story and I’ve done loads of therapy to get better at managing my problems, and I’m finally content with where I am,” he grimaced slightly while speaking of this part of him, that was at the same time so obvious and yet he never spoke directly about it. He focused again on his hands, which were still swirling soap over Miya’s admittedly very nice torso. He knew Miya was watching him closely but he didn’t think he could meet his eyes right now.

“I was lucky to go to the same school as Komori, because I was too strange for most of my classmates but they mostly didn’t pick on me since I was good at volleyball. Komori and volleyball were the only things I had that made me feel normal. I was finally well enough to start experimenting with… touching people intimately, gradually, while I was in university. I’m not good at meeting people so I used apps for casual hookups. But if my performance in the sack didn’t keep people away after one night, my shitty personality and weird rules did,” he said, smirking a little and trying not to let it turn into another grimace. His eyes flicked up to Miya’s, hoping it would be enough to lighten the tension and his own embarrassment enough for him to keep talking. Miya gave him an encouraging look, and Sakusa could tell he was hanging on every word. He glanced away, took a deep breath, and knelt down to suds the lower half of Miya’s body. “I worked really hard to become more comfortable with myself and others, and my problems don’t cloud my life like they used to. It’s not something that will ever go away, but I feel good most of the time and our team is really understanding about all of it, which helps.”

“When you and I first started playing together a few months ago, I thought you were a complete ass. Of course, I’d known you were a complete ass in high school. But I liked antagonizing you. I still do,” Sakusa added, this time grinning cheekily up from where he knelt on the floor with one hand between Miya’s soapy thighs. Miya’s eyes seemed to have lust pooling in their depths again, so he quickly stood up and turned him around to start sudsing his back as the water hit is front. “I know you’re into it when I get mad at you. You fucking weirdo,” he growled into his ear, carefully tamping down his own lust. A little laugh from Miya.

“I never thought about this before tonight because I wasn’t the only one holding you at arm’s length. Sure, you flirt with me all the time, but nothing you say ever seems to be more than a joke to you so I mostly tried to ignore it. I'm used to you being brash and confident, and, frankly, a pain in the ass. I didn't think I needed or wanted to know much further than that. But when I saw you in the locker room tonight, I knew something was wrong because I know you don’t like being alone and you hardly ever miss out on a team night out. Without thinking about it, I just told Hinata I wouldn’t come out and then waited quietly for you to be ready. I guess I pay more attention to you than I knew. Then when we were outside, again I didn’t even think, I just invited you over. Like I said, I’m getting much better with being social, having friends, letting people into my life, my apartment, my space. I try not to think too much into it because of all the years that I _did_ think too much into it. But then you, here, you kept showing me sides of you that I’d never seen before. I realized I didn’t have you figured out at all.” Sakusa stopped sudsing and looked up at Miya’s back from his knees now. Miya was looking up, water hitting his front and steam billowing over his shoulders. Sakusa could tell he was listening intently. “All of a sudden I knew I wanted to kiss you,” he said softly. Miya turned around and looked down at him again, the water now washing away the soap Sakusa had lathered on his back.

“I’m not sure what I’m expecting, Miya, but this… this is nice,” he said. He found himself reaching for Miya’s hand, who grasped his tightly in return as he stood up. “I… don’t know how to date people. I’ve only ever been the way that I am. But if it’s like this…” he trailed off. He grasped for more words, but none came. When he saw him faltering, Miya pulled him into the water and switched places with him, holding his hands out for the soap. Sakusa passed it to him and Miya began the same process of lathering up Sakusa. For a while, they were silent as Miya gently ran his soapy hands over him. Sakusa was happy to just enjoy this new experience in silence, having already shared more than he ever had before. He felt unmoored, as if a line that had tied him to dry land for a long time had suddenly been loosened, and here he was floating free but uncertain in a new ocean. As Miya soaped him down, he momentarily lost focus to place a couple lingering kisses on Sakusa’s thigh where he had one of his dark moles before shaking his head and standing up again, muttering something about _damn distractin’ marks_. He pressed gently on Sakusa’s shoulders to turn him around, sudsing his back just as carefully. A few more _damn distractin’ marks_ on Sakusa’s shoulderblade interrupted his work again, but only momentarily. When Sakusa sensed he was finished, he submerged himself fully in the water for a long moment then turned, sighing contentedly.

“Have I ever mentioned how much I like being clean?” he said. Miya chuckled.

“You? Naw, never woulda guessed,” he answered.

Somewhat reluctantly, Sakusa turned the tap of the shower off. “Time to get out,” he said, stepping out and giving Miya’s ass a cheeky smack, made satisfyingly loud by the moisture and the echo of the shower.

Miya gasped and let out a falsely modest “Omi-kun!” before following, grinning.

“I still can’t believe how much of a prude you are,” Sakusa teased, grinning back and handing him a towel. They both patted down, the mood a bit lighter after the honesty of the shower. They were both new to this. He stepped back into his room, seeing their clothes strewn about the floor.

“I’ll lend you some clothes, since yours are on the floor now,” he said, pulling out an extra pair of sweats and a t-shirt, passing them to Miya before pulling on his own. He’d cleaned his floors yesterday, but even still he didn’t like the thought of either of them putting their discarded clothes back on. His rumpled clothes went quickly into his laundry hamper, while Miya’s he folded into a neat pile on top of the closed hamper lid. When he saw Miya in his own clothes, he was doubly happy with his choice to let him borrow some. Not allowing himself to think too much on that, he grabbed a couple antibacterial wipes and quickly went over the surfaces they’d touched in the washroom and bedroom, forcing himself to skip the shower for now. He led the way through the apartment back to the kitchen, hitting light-switches with another antibacterial wipe on the way since it had darkened considerably now. The volleyball game had ended and the tv screen had returned to menu selection. “You can pick another game if you’d like. Or a movie,” he said to Miya, turning into the kitchen. But something else had captured Miya’s attention.

“Omi-kun, do you have a cat?” he said, pointing at the cat-tree tucked into the corner of his living room.

“Ah. Yes, she doesn’t like very many people, so she’s hiding in the other room right now,” he answered. “She might come out a bit later. If she deems you worthy,” he said, smirking at an amazed Miya as he pulled out the rice cooker.

“An’ here I thought you were the one I had to impress, Omi-omi. God, why does she sound like even more of an ass than you?” he laughed. Then he groaned. “See, this is the kind of stuff I wanted to find out about each other before we started messin’ around!”

“I don’t see why that matters. You know now. Would it have changed your desire to fuck me if you’d known before?” Sakusa said as he measured out rice and water and turned the cooker on.

“Omi…” he groaned again. “I’m still not sure I’m ready to hear ye say ‘fuck me’ so casually without absolutely losin’ whatever shred of dignity I have left.”

Sakusa just rolled his eyes. Not every dramatic thing Miya said deserved a response. He carefully rinsed some vegetables before putting them on the cutting board. Miya offered to help but Sakusa waved him off, suggesting he get them each another beer out of the fridge. Sakusa smiled softly to himself to see Miya diligently wash out their previously-used glasses and ask which towel he should use to dry them before pouring in the fresh drinks. He gratefully accepted the beer and purposefully touched Miya’s hand as he did so, just because he could right now. He also made sure to look directly at Miya when he did this so he would know it was intentional, and was rewarded with the lightest of pink blushes. Miya sat down at the counter again and watched him prepare them dinner, providing steady conversation now. Sakusa was glad to see Miya seeming at ease, both in his apartment and also after what had transpired between them. He was also relieved that his honesty in the shower hadn’t made things more complicated; if anything, he guessed sharing something so personal had actually made things easier.

If being in the shower covered in soap suds was Sakusa’s happy place, being in the kitchen while someone else cooked him a meal was Miya’s. Not that he didn’t or couldn’t cook for himself, but Sakusa knew food was one of Miya’s soft spots. Sure enough, it didn’t take long before Miya was opening up in the same way Sakusa had in the shower.

“T’be honest, Omi-kun, I’ve been in love more times than I care to admit,” Miya began with a wry grin. “I fall fast an’ hard for people with no interest in me whatsoever. I guess I really do get off on people bein’ angry with me,” he said, laughing sheepishly at Sakusa, who huffed in amusement. “When I’m rejected or thwarted, I get desperate. I’m also just a horny bastard. It’s easy for me t’ find people to fool around with. But no one ever likes me enough to actually… stay,” he said, frowning slightly now. “An’ I’ve never slept with somebody I _like_ like before.”

“It’s my fault, ye know. I’m just like ya said. I waltz around askin’ for attention all the time, not carin’ if it’s negative attention, proddin’ at other people’s insecurities, but really I’m just hidin’ from the part of me that thinks I deserve bein’ rejected an’ ignored. I don’t see anythin’ worthwhile in myself, so why would anybody else?” he paused, running a hand through his still-damp hair and tapping his fingers on the side of his glass thoughtfully, before taking a sip. Sakusa reached for his own beer, turning away from the stove for a moment to lean on the counter and watch Miya. “I was in a bad mood earlier because ‘Samu called with good news. His onigiri shop is openin’ new branches in Tokyo, an’ he’s movin’ into a new place with the person he’s been datin’ since high school. Gods, I sound like such a jerk. It’s not that I don’t want my brother t’ be happy, despite our bickerin’. I just get to comparin’ myself to him. For all my jokes, I’ve always felt like the inferior one. It’s hard not to, when I’m _me_ an’ he’s _him_ ,” he said. _So that’s what it was,_ Sakusa thought, turning back to check the stove. Miya’s perfect foil and closest competitor had found success and love, and he felt like not having reached the same milestones at the same time as his twin demonstrated not his different life trajectory but his own failures and shortcomings. Pair that with the fact that everyone knew Osamu was the more level-headed and less snarky of the two, generally and vocally considered more likeable, and he could understand why Atsumu would lose confidence. It seemed Miya Atsumu was a good deal more self-conscious than he let on.

“Then Bokkun came in all gushin’ about how happy he is that his _amazing boyfriend_ Akaashi was gonna meet us at the izakaya an’ I felt sick imaginin’ watchin’ them bein’ all cutesy.” Sakusa admitted that while he liked Bokuto and certainly Akaashi and he knew Miya did too, he could understand their joint company being overwhelming if you weren’t in the proper mood. He’d seen Miya’s low moods once or twice before and knew that Bokuto’s exuberance on its own was enough to worsen his gloom without the added layer of Akaashi’s company and their very obvious adoration of each other. Sakusa checked the rice cooker and fluffed the rice, a puff of steam warming his face. Miya continued. “What really killed me was Shou-kun talkin’ about how Kageyama is the best setter he’s ever known, an’ I shouldn’t let any of that get t’ me since I know they all really are my friends, but truth is sometimes I just get into one of these moods an’ I feel a million miles away from everyone else an' I can't claw myself back.” He paused, and Sakusa had finished making dinner but he sensed that Miya wasn’t quite done speaking yet. He poked around at the stove a little to buy him some time. Of course, if he felt badly about himself, Atsumu wouldn’t just have Osamu’s successes to make him feel inferior; one look around at his peers would show him many exceptional and accomplished people. Miya had plenty of friends, many more than Sakusa, but now Sakusa could see that despite that he was really quite lonely. Eventually, Miya continued in a quieter voice. “I thought me likin’ ya was just gonna be another one of those times where I got my dumb heart broke. I never thought… I never thought we…” he trailed off. His mood hung heavy again and Sakusa worried that he would return to the sombre Miya he had been in the locker room earlier tonight.

Sakusa waited a little while longer, but Miya seemed lost in thought and unlikely to continue, so he plunked down a bowl and chopsticks in front of him. “Eat,” he said simply, and came around the counter to sit beside him. He clasped his hands over his bowl and mumbled a quiet “thank you for the food,” then immediately dug in. He hadn’t realized he was starving until the scents had wafted up to his nose while he cooked.

“Yer killin’ me, Omi-kun,” came the dry voice beside him.

“I’m listening,” Sakusa replied, glancing up at him from where he leaned over his bowl. “Seemed like you’d hit a dead end anyway,” he continued, following up with another mouthful. Besides, he wasn't going to let Miya be sad about his feelings for Sakusa being unrequited when that obviously wasn't the case. “ _Eat,_ ” he repeated firmly when it looked like Miya was returning to his gloomy train of thought.

Miya sighed and clasped his own hands over his bowl. “Thanks fer the food,” he said before digging in, glancing at Sakusa with a tiny soft smile. “Seriously, Kiyoomi, thanks.” With his mouth currently full, Sakusa just hummed in acknowledgement. He decided he could tolerate Miya using all kinds of horrible nicknames for him if he got to occasionally hear him say his name properly in genuine moments like these.

They continued talking over dinner, though their conversation turned to more lighthearted topics. Sakusa learned that Miya sometimes grew restless living in a city, escaping by taking long walks and hikes in nature whenever he could, playing a pocket instrument he’d brought along, an ocarina or a harmonica, or just whistling. Miya learned that Sakusa liked drawing and traditional calligraphy and biking, sometimes taking multi-day cycling trips on their team’s time off. Sakusa guessed this casual conversing and learning about each other was what Miya had wanted to come before sex when he’d said they’d started off everything backwards. He guessed he had a point, but Sakusa was also convinced that the two of them were too dense when it came to each other to have done it any other way. Besides, it was enough that they were doing it now. He felt smiles coming more and more easily, and Miya seemed to light up more the more he offered them.

As they were nearing the end of their dinner, they were finally joined by a certain feline who’d been avoiding them all evening. “Ah,” Sakusa said as he spotted her slinking in. He slid off his stool and onto the floor, holding out a hand which she arched into pleasantly. She was small, sleek, and all black except for white toes and a crisp white diamond on her chest that extended up to her chin. Her front paws currently stepped up onto Sakusa’s knee, and she peered around with pale golden eyes as he fondly scratched behind her ears. “Momo, meet Miya Atsumu, the biggest prick on my team and one that I am regrettably fucking,” he said. He glanced up at Miya and saw him looking between Sakusa and Momo, that slightly adoring look on his face again as his eyes took in Sakusa cooing over his cat. Momo glanced briefly at Miya then jumped down from Sakusa’s lap and walked away towards her cat-tree in the living room.

“You may call me Tsum-tsum,” Miya said to her retreating backside. “Damn, she really has yer same attitude doesn’t she,” he laughed as he continued to be mercilessly, purposefully ignored.

“Right down to the resting bitch face,” Sakusa agreed. She jumped gracefully to the top of the cat tree and immediately started grooming herself vigorously.

“And she likes cleaning too. Wow, ya guys. Soulmates. Don’t let me intrude,” Miya joked. Sakusa chuckled.

“She’s been really helpful for all the times where I couldn’t have company or touch,” he replied honestly, looking across the room at her fondly. He stood to collect their bowls and made his way over to the sink.

“My god, Omi-kun, yer such a flamin’ softie, y’know that?” Miya exclaimed. “If ye keep up all this cute shit my soul is going to literally leave my body.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” came Sakusa’s dry reply, turning on the tap to fill the sink and pouring in way more dish liquid than was necessary. _Whoops, old habit,_ he thought briefly, but didn’t care enough to dwell on this as the sink filled with bubbles. Miya offered to wash up since he’d cooked but Sakusa admitted he’d feel easier if he took care of it himself, so Miya sat back down and entertained him with a stupid story about him and Osamu that actually had Sakusa laughing outright. He looked up from the dishes and caught Miya in another adoring stare with yet another pink blush, and quickly turned back to the dishes with his own blush, but his wide grin stayed in place. Miya quickly followed up with more stupid stories about his brother, and to illustrate his point he pulled out his phone.

“Watch, bet he’s texted me somethin’ stupid now,” he said, pulling up his phone to find, sure enough, several missed texts from Osamu. He laughed and replied, phone immediately beeping in response. Miya got up to show Sakusa the conversation.

_from “uglier version of me”  
7:19pm_

> since ya haven’t bothered me in hours I’m guessin’ ya either died or got laid. let me just remind ya that I don’t care either way, an’ I don’t wanna hear about either
> 
> unless it’s embarrassing for ya then I definitely want details

_from me to "uglier version of me"  
8:02pm_

> what if I got laid so good I died
> 
> would u care then

_from "uglier version of me"  
8:03pm_

> ew
> 
> just die already

They both laughed and continued swapping stories until the dishes were done and they retreated to the living room. Sakusa plunked down on his couch and Miya tentatively sat down beside him a careful distance away. He asked Miya to pick out a movie which he quickly did with input from Sakusa, then sat back gingerly on the couch as if uncertain what he could and couldn’t touch again. Sakusa rolled his eyes and yanked him into the crook of his shoulder, wrapping his arm around Miya. He immediately loosened up and leaned his head back into Sakusa’s shoulder comfortably. Momo looked down at them judgingly and didn’t budge from her perch, though she’d usually come down to sit in Sakusa’s lap in the evening. He supposed it would take her time to adjust to other people, just like it had taken him time to adjust. He said something along those lines to Miya then blew her a kiss, more to make Miya laugh than anything, which he did and the rumble of it vibrated pleasantly through his back where Sakusa’s shoulder was wrapped around it.

When the credits ran up at the end of the movie, Miya didn’t react and Sakusa’s suspicions that he had dozed off were confirmed. Sakusa lay his head back on the top of the couch and stared up at the ceiling as the end-credit music swelled dramatically. _How could I possibly have imagined tonight going like this?_ He thought to himself, smiling gently in the near dark. A warm feeling had coiled itself contentedly into his chest at some point over the course of the evening, and he hesitated a moment before waking Miya in case the other would decide it was time to go. He pulled out his phone and saw that it was after 10pm. Sighing, he supposed there was nothing for it. He kissed the side of Miya’s head.

“Atsumu,” he whispered into his hair, inhaling and finding that he enjoyed the scent. Miya stirred and noticed the movie had ended.

“Ah. Sorry,” he said, sitting up a little bit. “Hm, I guess I oughta head out now,” he said groggily. Sakusa looked down at Miya, his blonde fringe lightly mussed from where it had been crushed on his shoulder. _Cute,_ he thought as Miya rubbed his eyes. Sakusa had never allowed someone to stay over before, but he found himself once again allowing his impulse to win out tonight.

“Or you could stay,” he said, so softly that he wasn’t sure Miya would have even heard him. He must have though, as his eyes opened wide and flickered up to Sakusa’s face.

“S-sure,” he mumbled. “If ye want me to, that is,” he added hastily. Sakusa only gave a nod, his mind already moving on to a much higher-priority order of business.

“Let me go get you a toothbrush.”

\--

The next morning, Sakusa awoke to soft filtered sunlight hitting his face. Opening one eye to check his clock, he saw that it was just before seven and that it was Sunday, reminding him he didn’t have to get up for practice today. Momo was curled up in the crook of his body under his chin as she usually was in the morning, and he inhaled her fur gently before snuggling further into her softness. It was this slight motion that made him notice for the first time the unfamiliar aspect of an arm draped across his waist. Suddenly the memories of last night came flooding back to him and he fully awoke to feel not just an arm around his waist but a body pressed against his back. If he’d been worried about how he would feel when he woke up with Miya in his bed, he needn’t have been, because the first thought that came to his mind was how _nice_ it was. He settled in to enjoy this warmth a little longer. Miya stirred slightly behind him, releasing a soft puff of air against the back of Sakusa’s neck as he shifted his arm, his hand ending up slipping down to land just barely in the fluff of Momo’s side. She rolled her head back to look briefly before settling back down under Sakusa’s chin, unconcerned. A soft hum from behind him told him Miya was probably waking up.

“Kiyoomi,” came a sleepy voice near his ear. “Ye have such soft chest hair,” he said, his hand running gently along Momo’s side.

“That’s Momo, you idiot,” Sakusa replied, grinning and turning his head to the side. Miya gave a small chuckle.

“I figured,” he said, pushing himself up on his elbow to look down at Sakusa, who flattened onto his back to look up at him. “Lucky me, that ye both let me in yer bed.”

Sakusa smiled up at him. “Good morning.”

“G’mornin’,” came the chipper reply. “If yer not sick of me yet, lemme make ya breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Aren't they just the cutest vulnerable boys? I love them???  
> -I may or may not have foisted upon them my own issues and said "these are YOUR character traits now"... ya gurl is neurodivergent and sad lol  
> -Sorry if Sakusa sounded like a jerk when he just told Atsumu to eat after Atsumu let loose all his insecurities and went emo. When I am feeling bad about myself I need to vent but not be allowed to sulk and I also need to be force-reminded to eat. So. That's why Sakusa did that exact thing.  
> -Sorry if Sakusa sounded like a jerk at all because he is precious and doing his best. Same goes for Atsumu my dramatic hoe  
> -I gave Sakusa a cat because I have been living alone in self-isolation for months and if I didn't have my cat here while not being able to see or touch people for that long I would have gone absolutely apeshit, and Sakusa's entire life is self-isolation. Thank u Gigi my wonderful babie for not hating me for being a sad cat mom  
> -Next chapter is funnier I swear, and there are other characters, and also there's cute relationship stuff


	2. Taking Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakusa and Miya continue their secret relationship right under the noses of their teammates, until a viral photograph posted at the big Adlers-Jackals match throws their blossoming romance into the spotlight.

If Sakusa was worried about how the events of Saturday night would affect how they played and interacted at practice, he needn’t have been. One stupid sentence out of Miya’s mouth on Monday and he snapped out a biting comeback without a second thought. He continued to hurl whatever warranted insults came to mind all practice and Miya, true to his same old asshole self, continued to reply with sarcasm, puns, or his usual inappropriate flirtatious behaviour. Their behaviour garnered groans from the more mature players, and their rivalry for serves was just as heated as it had always been. _Just like normal,_ he thought, and a little voice at the back of his mind started to ask if Saturday night and Sunday morning had just been a dream as he tried to reconcile the Miya he’d seen then with the Miya he was seeing now.

But afterwards, in the locker room, when everyone else had left, he turned to find Miya leaning against his locker watching him, waiting with a soft smile. He couldn't help returning that soft smile before he pulled up his mask. They talked pleasantly on their shared walk home and when Miya hesitated at the spot where their paths diverged, Sakusa even pulled his mask down carefully to give Miya a chaste kiss. Well, the first kiss was chaste. A few minutes later as he pulled his mask back up, he noticed the flush on Miya’s cheeks and guessed he had one to match.

“Come over this Saturday?” Miya asked. “Bokkun and Shouyou-kun often pop by, an’ sometimes Barnes, but I can make sure they don’t if ye don’t think ye’d like that,” he said. “They’ve all walked in on me havin' sex before, so I just gotta tell them I’ve got a hot date an' they’ll know to steer clear,” he said, grinning and waggling his eyebrows at Sakusa.

“That won’t be necessary,” Sakusa said, and he guessed it came off harsher than he intended as Miya’s face fell a bit. “I think I would actually enjoy spending some time with them. And you,” he added, slightly quieter. Miya lit up. “Saturday,” he repeated, beginning to back away down his street.

Miya grinned hugely. “Great! I’ll make sure the place is spotless!”

The rest of the week continued the same as Monday. At practice they interacted with their snarky banter as always, although Sakusa had to admit that the motivation for his sometimes-aggressive, sometimes-cheeky criticism of Miya was now less to piss him off than it was to turn him on (and ideally, _both_ ). None of their teammates seemed any the wiser of this small shift, and Sakusa found he revelled in the thrill and secrecy of it all. Miya as always lapped up any and all attention and responded with eyeroll- or glare-worthy behaviour. After practice, they met secretly in the locker room after everyone else had left to walk home together, speaking pleasantly before parting with a delicious kiss at Sakusa’s street. In the evening, Miya would send him texts or snapchats that had Sakusa smiling at his sweetness, laughing at his idiotic humour, or rolling his eyes at his dramatic flair. On Thursday night, Sakusa caved and told Komori about this newfound…whatever it was, and was met with much excitement from his best friend. On Friday, he sent a snapchat they took together in the locker room to Komori. He made sure to insist Komori keep it a secret, especially from his teammate and friend Suna who Sakusa thought he remembered was Osamu's boyfriend—although Miya had seemed pleased when Sakusa mentioned he'd been speaking with his best friend about them, he wasn't exactly sure how open Atsumu was being with his brother about this yet. He was going to ask before Miya distracted him with a gentle, discreet touch to the middle of his back while they stood waiting at a traffic light that sent tingles up Sakusa's spine, then jumped into a description of a new type of serve he'd seen and wanted to try. This interested Sakusa and he asked if he could try receiving it, and they spoke excitedly of volleyball for the rest of their walk.

Saturday night arrived and here Sakusa was at Miya’s apartment, seated on a kitchen chair turned away from the table towards the living room where Bokuto and Hinata were piled on a seemingly too-small couch, Hinata’s feet on Bokuto’s lap. Barnes sat on a cushion on the floor in between them, leaning back on the couch with his icepack-wrapped knee propped up on another cushion. Miya was opposite the room from Sakusa, sprawling sideways over an armchair in a manner that looked like it must be uncomfortable though he seemed perfectly at ease. He was taking this opportunity to complain about how exhausted he was because of all the extra cleaning he’d had to do so that Sakusa would deign to come over to his so-called humble abode.

“But your place is always this tidy, Atsumu-san!” Hinata said, looking around the admittedly very clean room. Sakusa hadn’t even used any of the wipes that Miya had placed directly behind him on the table.

Miya sighed heavily. “Thank the first man t' break my heart fer my fastidiousness. An', well, any good habit that I've got,” Miya replied. Sakusa rolled his eyes. _So dramatic,_ he thought, but tried to remind himself to ask for the story later. He was sure it would be hilarious (to him).

“Give me his number. He sounds preferable to you,” Sakusa snarked. Miya pulled a face and stuck his tongue out at him.

“Your apartment is always pretty clean too, Shouyou-kun,” Bokuto said. “Except you always have volleyballs loose on the floor!”

“Well how else would I practice my lonely passing drill?” Hinata asked. No one answered, and Sakusa was sure it was because no one knew what Hinata’s lonely passing drill was. Hinata continued, undeterred. “But yeah, ever since that spring nationals in high school when that fever ended my season, I… I’ve been really careful to not forget about life stuff. I don’t cut corners anymore.” His voice was quiet and serious here, and he paused. Then, a big inhale and his usual pep returned as he declared “And keeping my apartment clean is part of that!” Sakusa felt a pang of guilt about the first day Hinata had joined the Black Jackals and he’d callously reminded Hinata of what must have been a painful memory by mentioning _that_ nationals tournament and _that_ fever. He was thankful Hinata was such a kind-hearted person, because Sakusa knew exactly how bad he could be at making good first impressions.

“Do you think maybe I’ll ever get better at cleaning?” Bokuto asked. “I’m a bit more focused now that I’m on ADHD medication, and Akaashi knows exactly where to leave me little helpful sticky note reminders when he comes over, but I’m just so spacey!” he groaned. Barnes patted Bokuto’s knee.

“I’m sure you do your best, Bokkun,” he said with a smile. “And if anyone’s got your back covered, it’s Akaashi-kun,” Barnes added. Bokuto’s eyes lit up like they always did when Akaashi was mentioned.

“Bokuto-san, what’s it’s like being with the love of your life?” Hinata asked reverently. “If you don’t mind me asking. I… I’d love some advice from my senpai because I’m thinking of asking somebody out,” he finished, shyly looking over to Bokuto.

"OoooOOooOoooo, Shouyou-kun!" Barnes said excitedly, ever the team gossip.

“Wait, Shokkun, yer not datin’ Tobio-kun?” Miya exclaimed, bolting upright from his lazed posture on the armchair.

“Well, no, I-I haven’t had a chance to really speak with him aside from texting and groupchats and our new twitter feud since I got back, it’s been such a whirlwind, and I kinda also was on the other side of the world for two years so maybe he’s changed now, I don’t know, I was too scared to come out in high school let alone admit how I felt and then at graduation we parted like it was nothing so I doubt he felt the same way but… Okay, so I still have a huge crush on Kageyama. Do you guys think I should ask him out after the Jackals-Adlers match?” Hinata rambled.

“Pining is so cliché, Shouyou-kun” sighed Miya dramatically, dropping back into a lounging position on the armchair. Sakusa almost spat out his beer.

“Miya, you fucking hypocrite,” Sakusa sputtered, internally howling with laughter at that combination of words coming out of stupid Miya’s stupid lips. Barnes guffawed. Miya’s own crushes were a constant topic of conversation for him in the locker rooms, after all. Sakusa could also think of one specific recent confession of Miya’s where he had admitted to long-time pining… Miya had the self-awareness to grin sheepishly before he jolted up again.

“Wait wait wait, Shokkun, so we could have been bangin’ these last few months?!” Miya exclaimed again, then quickly glanced guiltily towards Sakusa and away again.

Sakusa shrugged unconcernedly and sloshed his beer around in his glass. “I honestly thought you two _were_ banging these last few months,” he said, taking a swig. Bokuto and Barnes nodded at this. Another of Miya’s favourite practice and locker-room behaviours was flirting with anyone and everyone, and Hinata had never once seemed to mind the attention. Miya’s interest had been obvious, and Hinata was very enthusiastic about all his relationships which could be read either way. Add to that they were often hanging out together in each others’ apartments, and, well, people assumed. If Hinata had not even noticed Miya’s interest or the lewdness of his constant barrage of thinly-veiled innuendos, then Sakusa thought perhaps Hinata was just too pure for this team, for this world.

“Argh!” Miya cried, plastering his hands over his eyes.

“Nope, I haven’t slept with anybody since I hooked up with the bartender at my beach volleyball partner Heitor’s wedding in Brazil,” Hinata exclaimed innocently, a bright smile on his face. It seemed Hinata could even make talking about one-night stands seem pure. Sakusa could understand how Hinata had everyone he ever met completely wrapped around his little finger. He himself couldn't help but like this little ray of sunshine, and he smiled softly at him across the room. That warm gratitude he felt for this amazing team was back.

“Wha— but Sho, that’s like, at least three months ago!” Miya was absolutely abhorred by this. “If Tobio-kun doesn’t pound your goddamn brains out in the locker room after that match, I will give him a personal talking-to. That goody two-shoes needs to learn to give a man what he needs,” he finished indignantly. Sakusa rolled his eyes at Miya's take on the Kageyama-Hinata situation, but a smile still lingered at the corners of his lips. _Perhaps I can have some fun with this,_ he thought cheekily.

“Well, Shouyou-kun my young disciple, when you’ve found your own Akaashi, you’ll know in your heart,” Bokuto said as if he was a mountain sage offering wisdom upon the innocent youth. Bokuto’s dating advice was always practically the same, and it was always useless. After all, he’d pined after his high school sweetheart silently until the latter finally confessed to him at graduation, and they’d been dating ever since. But Hinata and Bokuto had known each other for a long time and they did seem to share an understanding (or a single brain cell), so perhaps in this case his advice wouldn’t be completely wasted. “If Kageyama still makes your heart go _pwah,_ then you should definitely tell him how you feel,” Bokuto finished. Hinata was nodding but still looked uncertain. Sakusa saw an opening, and leapt into it like a perfectly-timed spike approach.

“What if the person you like is also a huge asshole who you want to hit in the back of the head with a jump serve?” Sakusa asked, completely hypothetically of course, while unrelatedly sending a vicious smirk in Miya’s vague direction. Miya narrowed his eyes, unsure whether he could defend himself without revealing too much or if he had to let it slide with a bruised ego.

“Yeah, that sounds exactly like how I feel about Bakageyama!” Hinata said, looking excitedly over to Sakusa. _And now for the kill,_ he thought.

“In that case, I agree with Miya. After the match, you should fuck him so hard that he falls apart and confesses to you,” Sakusa said, absolutely revelling in the instant beet-red blush that blossomed across Miya’s face. _Nice kill,_ he said smugly to himself, crowing internally and thanking the gods for any part they’d played in making Miya Atsumu develop feelings for him. This was more fun than he’d had talking to people in his entire life. “Although I suggest you don’t choose an unsanitary place like a locker room, as Miya suggested,” he tacked on as an afterthought. There was no need to go completely wild here.

“And make sure you ask for consent, and don’t forget condoms!” Barnes added. Hinata nodded, looking between each of his friends with his thousand-watt smile, starting to seem excited about the eventuality of his reunion with his old crush beyond the excitement he had already to play volleyball against the very same. “Now what’s the latest in your twitter feud with Kageyama? I’ve been eating that shit up with a _spoon,_ ” Barnes laughed. Hinata pulled out his phone and Barnes and Bokuto leaned in over it as they looked over the tweets. Miya got up to get another beer from the fridge and glared at Sakusa as he walked by, face still tinged red. Sakusa gave him one of his biggest smiles and as he turned his face away from the others he gave Miya a wink. Miya flipped him off before pulling open the fridge.

“Beer?” he grunted.

“Yes please, Miya-san,” he purred, swigging the last bit of his beer and passing the glass over the table to Miya. He pulled out his own phone to look over the Kageyama-Hinata twitter feud, although he had to admit he was enjoying his and Miya's continued twitter clapbacks much more.

Miya returned with a beer for Sakusa and a mixed drink on ice for himself. He pulled up the other chair to the side of the table and sat in it backwards, leaning his arms on the back rest. The others were still giggling over Hinata’s phone.

“Yer a bastard,” he said to Sakusa, looking down at his own phone.

“I’ve never had so much fun in my entire life,” replied Sakusa, putting down the twitter thread for now. Miya made a grimace. “Also. Maybe you were too busy to notice, but I said I _like_ a certain asshole.”

“Was that before or after ya threatened to bash my skull in with one of yer wicked serves?”

“Ooh, complimenting my serves now? Miya stop, you’ll make me blush,” Sakusa cooed. Miya rolled his eyes and muttered something about _stupid sexy Sakusa_ before taking a large sip of his drink. Sakusa’s eyes sparkled as he continued genuinely, “seriously, Miya, this is fun.” At this, Miya’s expression softened a bit.

“Yer still a bastard,” he said, but he couldn’t stop the spread of his crooked grin. Sakusa supposed that meant he was forgiven, and he grinned back.

Nights at Miya’s place with the team became more frequent for Sakusa after that. He learned that Barnes lived in the same apartment complex as well, which meant that Bokuto, Hinata, Barnes, and Miya were regularly congregating in one of their apartments. It made for an immediate full house on any given evening, but Sakusa found he was surprisingly fine with this especially since they all seemed to like to pile on the couch and leave him to the kitchen chair that he preferred. Inunaki and Adriah were roommates in another building a little ways away, but they sometimes came over too. Sakusa appreciated Inunaki’s biting sarcastic sense of humour that was similar to his own, and Adriah was better at understanding than speaking Japanese so he mostly contributed with easy laughter, occasionally asking Inunaki or Hinata who spoke the best English to explain something. Meian lived with his wife in another neighbourhood entirely, and he would go with them and let loose on izakaya nights but seemed to want to keep a little bit of professional distance as their captain and leader the rest of the time. Sakusa was floored that he had managed to become close friends with his entire team _and_ hang out with them in a group so comfortably, and he regularly texted Komori with awe about what he was sure was normal behaviour for others. He was equally surprised and pleased with the direction he and Miya seemed to be going in, and Komori shared in his delight at this as well.

On these team nights, just sitting across from Miya in his apartment and occasionally sending off pointed jabs at him during their group conversations was fun, and he appreciated when Miya came across and sat beside him at the table for a few moments of intimate conversation while the others were occupied with twitter, anime, video games, cards, or whatever else excited them at the time. If Sakusa got tired and decided to head out before the others, he stole a few kisses hidden in the entryway with Miya as he saw him out. If the others left early and Sakusa felt like staying over, even better. But Miya knew Sakusa preferred the comfort of his own apartment and so he never pressured him to stay, even though Sakusa knew Miya was dying to get him in bed by the end of an evening. So, Sakusa invited Miya over more frequently, too.

Sometimes, Sakusa had worse anxieties than at other times, and as always it was his social life that suffered. Self-consciousness and distaste for his own problems made him apologize guiltily to Miya for what he knew rationally wasn’t his fault, but he feared that Miya would either get annoyed with him or think Sakusa was intentionally being hurtful and cold. Miya was surprisingly good at handling this.

“I’m sorry,” Sakusa blurted out, after having asked Miya to take a few steps back from him as they stood at his street corner. “I’m sorry, sometimes it… everything just gets worse,” Sakusa started lamely. Today was a bad day, and he needed space.

“What, sorry ye have good days an’ bad days? Kiyoomi, that makes ya normal. I know ya get worse because ya think yer a freak all the time. But bein’ different on any given day is the most normal thing about ya,” Miya assured him.

“But I don’t want you to think that I’m… pushing you away,” Sakusa continued, looking anywhere but at Miya. The outside world was always so _busy_ when he was anxious. Movement caught his eyes everywhere so he closed them and tried to breathe deeply through his mask. He could feel the air and all the mystery substances it contained touching his skin. Was it always this _loud_ outside?

“Yer not pushin’ me away,” Miya replied, and at this Sakusa opened his eyes and looked at him with a quizzical eyebrow arched. He had just literally told Miya to take three steps away from him. “Well, physically maybe, but ya never stop talkin’ to me. As long as ye can tell me what ya need, I don’t mind waitin’ a few steps away for the other stuff to clear yer head,” he continued. “Yer all tensed up. Why don'tcha get inside yer place, get settled, an’ if ya wanna keep talkin’ once yer comfy ye can call me?” Sakusa agreed that that would make him feel more at ease than standing like this on the street corner that was still just _too busy_ for Sakusa in this state, so they parted. He anxiously went through the vigorous bad-day routine he had returning to his apartment and wasn’t easy until he was curled up on his couch with Momo and some herbal tea a couple of hours later, feeling scrubbed a bit raw and with nostrils burning from the bleach he’d used in the bathrooms. He had another brief spike of anxiety as his thumb hovered over Miya’s contact in his phone but he forced himself to press down on Miya’s name, and when Miya picked up midway through the second ring he felt himself finally relax a bit.

“Hey gorgeous,” Miya drawled, and Sakusa smiled despite himself. “How ya feelin’? Wanna talk about it or d’ya wanna listen to me talk about stupid shit for a while?”

And so Miya took Sakusa’s bad days totally in stride. When Sakusa told him how grateful he was that he was surprisingly good at helping, Miya assured him that he did the same thing in return when Miya was in one of his lows. Sakusa doubted this and he said as much, but Miya reminded him of their first night together when Sakusa had spent the whole night coaxing Miya out of a melancholic mood. Sakusa wasn’t sure that was exactly how that night had gone down, but he supposed that Miya had a point. Despite them being very different in many ways, they seemed actually quite suited to helping each other in times of stress. If he had to have anxious days and Miya had to have low days, he was glad that now at least they could have them with each other there to help.

Sakusa’s good days were some of the happiest he’d had in his life. They spent time in his kitchen laughing as they drank tea or beer and ate dinner, then watched movies and anime or played video games. And of course, the sex with the following soapy shower just completed Sakusa’s bliss. Waking up to a sleepy Miya the next morning, especially if they could sleep in together, made the warmth in his chest spread all throughout his body to the tip of each finger.

On one such morning, Miya’s voice still a little gravelly from sleep, he turned his head towards Sakusa. “Are we boyfriends?”

Sakusa nuzzled into the back of Miya’s neck, inhaling his smell. “We can be, if you want to,” he replied. “Though I prefer the gender-neutral term ‘partner’,” he continued.

“Me too,” Miya said.

“I think, though, Atsumu, I’d want to be exclusive if we’re going to be partners,” Sakusa said, and Miya turned around as much as he could with Sakusa’s arm around his waist.

“What, ye think I’ve been sleepin’ around this whole time while we’ve been seein’ each other?” Miya said. Sakusa shrugged.

“I don’t know and I don’t really mind what you’ve been doing. We haven’t spoken about this yet so I just care about what we do going forward,” he said. Miya nodded.

“Well, t’be honest, I haven’t been able to think of anythin’ other than you since we started, so I haven’t slept with anyone else since then. And I’d like t’be partners,” he finished, with a determined look in his eyes.

“Me too. And okay, then we’re partners,” Sakusa responded, and he couldn’t help the smile that tugged his lips up at the end. Miya smiled back and Sakusa nuzzled into his neck again, pulling his arm tight around his waist.

“What do ya think about tellin’ people? Tellin’ the team, an’ the public?” Miya continued.

“I don’t really see why it’s anyone’s business. But I don’t see any reason to hide either. What do you think?” Sakusa asked.

“I like the way we are right now, stealin’ kisses and havin’ secret nights in yer apartment. I s’ppose we oughta tell people eventually but I don’t feel rushed to make it anyone’s business either. Maybe at some point it’ll be too tricky to keep a secret, an’ at that point I don’t care if people know. But for now, let’s just keep doin’ this,” Miya said.

“We’re so rude to each other in public and on twitter, no one will ever guess,” Sakusa chuckled. Miya laughed too.

“Won’t it be fun when they find out?” he said. “Barnes’ll shit a brick,” he snorted, and Sakusa agreed with a gentle hum as he kissed up the side of Miya’s neck, pulling him close and feeling heat rise up through his body as Miya slid his body back up against his and turned his face into the kiss.

\--

Barnes’ love of gossip came for the two of them about a week later in the form of a “fun” social media video for the Black Jackals accounts. Barnes was very involved with the Black Jackals social media, some said on account of a certain cute blonde social media manager who was a single mom around his age. Although that may have been part of it Sakusa thought it was actually just that he genuinely loved doing it. The premise that he presented them with seemed innocent enough, asking Sakusa and Miya to sit down with the social media manager in the Black Jackals office lounge and answer some questions on camera. They agreed before Barnes grinned and informed them that she would pluck questions from the comments of V-League fans on their team account.

“So, Atsumu, Kiyoomi, V-League stan twitter has been shipping you and they want to know; have you ever had sex with each other?” she asked right off the bat, grinning wickedly. Sakusa's initial reaction was to show immense distaste at such a blunt and personal question, and he gratefully used that to disguise his feelings on the content of the question. Miya leapt right in shamelessly with his signature dramatic flair.

“It happened in a dream once,” said Miya with a big fake sigh, leaning his face on his intertwined hands with a blissful expression on his face. He was sprawled across one end of the office lounge's couch, oozing his regular brassy confidence.

“It happened in a nightmare once,” said Sakusa with a fake shudder, sufficiently recovered from his initial shock to make a joke at Miya's expense. He was seated at the opposite end of the couch, leaning away as much as possible. He had been forced to participate without his face-mask and while he was used to Miya now he felt otherwise quite exposed. He forced himself not to continue down that train of thought that would have him imagining all the things he was exposed to. Thankfully, Miya was doing something ridiculous that required his immediate and full attention.

“Omi-omi! We should try kissing while awake!” He leaned towards Sakusa, lips pursed and eyes closed. Sakusa pulled an antibacterial spray bottle out of his pocket and spritzed Miya right in the face, who then fell back sputtering.

“Next question,” Sakusa said unfeelingly, turning back to the social media manager while Miya continued to sputter.

Not all of the questions were so blunt, and not all of them were about their “ship”. Some of the questions were even about volleyball, which Sakusa preferred to anything else. Sakusa was a little uncomfortable navigating the questions about his personal life, of which there were a surprising amount, but Miya seemed to know just when he needed an intervention and burst in with some ridiculous comment that Sakusa could turn into a spat. Sakusa returned the favour when Miya struggled, such as when the social media manager smoothly read off a graphic thirst tweet to Miya that clearly flustered him. He turned to Sakusa and squeaked “Help!”, and Sakusa rolled his eyes and made some biting comment that brought Miya back down to earth.

The internet seemed to love their stupid interview, and Barnes told them he’d definitely ask them again sometime. Sakusa wasn’t sure he’d ever agree to anything Barnes suggested again.

That evening after the interview, Sakusa arrived at Miya’s apartment to find him and Hinata already chatting in the living room area. As he made his greetings and settled in, Miya opened his phone to read an incoming notification. His jaw twitched with anger and his eyes flashed and all of a sudden he was throwing his phone. It hit the wall on its corner, leaving a dent on the surface before bouncing to the ground. Miya sighed and got up to pick it up from where it had fallen, seemingly unharmed, and flopped down again as if this was normal behaviour. Hinata and Sakusa exchanged a glance and then looked back at Miya who was cluelessly tapping away at his phone now, muttering something about _stupid ‘Samu._

Sakusa looked back to the wall, which was across from where Miya usually sat, and saw the pattern of pockmarks in that square of wall space that he’d seen many times before without giving them a second thought. It suddenly dawned on him that Miya must often throw his phone at the wall as he sat in that spot. He looked back to Hinata and saw that he was thinking the same thing. A small laugh burst from Sakusa’s lips before he could stop it, and Hinata joined him.

“So do you often throw your phone at the wall, Miya?” Sakusa said, still chuckling a bit.

“It’s fuckin’ ‘Samu again,” Miya replied, as if this answered all questions and justified all phone-throwing.

“You should be sponsored by otterbox, Atsumu-san,” Hinata added.

“Look what he fuckin’ DID,” Miya exclaimed, showing Hinata and Sakusa a conversation on his phone.

_from “Mamma Miya”  
7:27pm_

> Atsumu dear, your brother mentioned that he was worried you weren’t practicing safe sex. Here is a link to why you should always be careful. I love you, please be safe xx
> 
> [link to sexual health resources]
> 
> Do you need me to explain anything?

_from me to "Mamma Miya"  
7:29pm_

> NO. 
> 
> PLEASE don’t listen to anything Osamu says about me, ever
> 
> especially if it’s about my… relationships

_from "Mamma Miya"  
7:30pm_

> Ok dear, well, I don’t really want to know what you kids do but I do care that you don’t get an STI or an unplanned pregnancy.
> 
> heaven forbid you should end up with a serious infection or worse, with TWINS

_from me to "Mamma Miya"  
7:31pm_

> MOM.

“Oh my god Atsumu-san did you just get roasted by your MOM?” Hinata exclaimed, then burst out laughing.

“Shaddup, Shou-kun!” Miya replied. He looked to Sakusa for backup but Sakusa was trying hard to hold back his own laughter and doing poorly. “Oh whatever, Shouyou, you get owned by yer 16-year-old sister on twitter all the damn time!”

“Natsu is savage, I cannot keep up with her,” Hinata admitted. “And she loves Kageyama so she always sides with him on twitter,” he complained, but Sakusa could tell he wasn’t really bothered by it. Sakusa had yet to see something truly bother Hinata for more than a moment, and he smiled again at his sweet little teammate. Miya was frowning as he tapped away frantically, responses coming immediately, so Sakusa knew he was texting Osamu now. He grinned, enjoying watching their stupid bickering as usual. Miya didn't throw his phone again, but he did grunt and put it down in frustration a minute later.

Later, after Hinata had left, Miya showed Sakusa their conversation.

_from me to “uglier version of me”  
7:35pm_

> OSAMU YOU ASS

_from "uglier versions of me"  
7:36pm_

> Stop bein’ so horny on main an’ I won’t have to take such drastic measures
> 
> Besides I do worry yer too stupid to know how to use a condom
> 
> an’ ye should leave poor Sakusa-san alone btw. He looks long-sufferin’

_from me to "uglier version of me"  
7:37pm_

> IT’S NOT MY FAULT the interview questions were so dirty!!!
> 
> an’ I’m the one who told YOU how to use a condom when you an’ Suna-kun started messin’ around in high school, dumbass!!
> 
> oh, an’ Omi-kun an’ I are datin’ so don’t worry about that

_from "uglier version of me"  
7:38pm_

> Yeah like I’d believe that.
> 
> yer an ass ‘Tsumu

Miya was a little agitated by their conversation, enough that he hadn’t responded further to Osamu, but Sakusa just laughed and leaned over the table to kiss the side of his head. He stayed there a moment, inhaling, and Miya hummed and leaned into him slightly.

“Ah. Dunno why I'm so mad, ‘Samu just knows how to get under my skin,” he laughed.

“You’re funny, Atsumu,” Sakusa murmured. “But don’t let what he said about me worry you, hey?”

“The video thing was fine. I know ye were just doin’ yer best to handle that, an’ I think we pulled it off an’ make it funny despite it all. But… is it really so hard t’ believe I could be in a relationship? Why does he think that about me?” Miya asked, pulling back to look at Sakusa uncertainly.

“It’s probably just how you told him, tacking it on the end of an argument like that. I’m sure if you sent him a text or called him tomorrow about it and explained it, he’d be more likely to take you seriously,” Sakusa reassured him. “And, well, people might find it hard to believe we’re in a relationship. I mean, it’s us,” he continued. “If it’s important to you that Osamu knows, we can take a selfie together to send to him?”

“I want him to just believe me,” Miya said, but he seemed to be less agitated, leaning into Sakusa again. Sakusa couldn’t really be sure since he didn’t understand what it was like having a brother like Osamu, having never really been close with his much older siblings, but he thought that this was maybe different from their usual harmless bickering. Sakusa knew that Osamu was Atsumu’s best friend, despite it all, and he guessed that he was a little hurt that something that was important to him was being dismissed. He wrapped one arm around Miya’s shoulders in a half hug.

“Just think of how smug you’ll get to be when he finally finds out that you’ve been telling the truth all along and he was too much of a jerk to believe you,” Sakusa teased. Miya laughed.

“Yer right. I won’t try to convince him. Let his jaw hit the floor when we go public,” he replied. Sakusa chuckled and stood up, going behind Miya’s chair to wrap him fully in a hug from behind. Miya hummed. “Thanks, Kiyoomi,” he murmured into his arms. “Ya gonna stay the night?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” he said cheekily, releasing Miya from his hug and pulling him up from his seat before capturing his lips in a prolongued kiss.

\--

When the Adlers-Jackals game came up, most of the team was focused on Hinata because of the obvious watershed moment this would be for him. He had alternated between being nervous and excited before the big day, and he had talked almost constantly about it. On game day, though, he was eerily calm and collected, sitting silently and unusually still in the locker room. Sakusa caught a glimpse of his face and the expression he saw there was unlike anything he’d ever seen before; Sakusa briefly thought that he looked like a man about to meet his destiny, and a shiver went up his spine. His eyes sought out Miya’s for comfort as they often did now, and their gazes met from across the room. Their eyes lingered a moment and Sakusa was relieved to feel the silent warmth there before they broke eye contact again.

The game went as expected, Hinata playing exceptionally well as Barnes was seated on the bench with his sore knee, live-tweeting the match from the sidelines. It was amazing that they were able to pull off a win against the league leaders and reigning champs, and everyone knew it was in large part to Hinata’s dynamism. The crowd went nuts and stuck around after the game as the team milled about on the court after the official handshakes and thanking of the audience. Sakusa had slunk to stand right in front of the exit to the locker rooms as usual, it being the most comfortable place for him to be. At centre-court, Hinata extended his hand underneath the net to shake Kageyama’s hand, and Kageyama gripped it back before stepping under the net. He leaned in to say something earnestly in Hinata’s ear over the noise of the crowd and Hinata’s face lit up. When Kageyama pulled away, Hinata was already excitedly replying and Sakusa thought he could see a little smile on Kageyama's face.

“’bout time they got together,” came Miya’s voice as he sauntered up beside Sakusa. He nodded and smiled at Miya, then slung an arm casually around his shoulders since they were somewhat out of view of the crowds and he reasoned this was a safe enough gesture anyways. Miya looked at him but didn’t move away, instead wrapping his arm around Sakusa to grip his shoulder like they did in their team huddles. Just two sports dudes being guys.

When Hinata stood up on tiptoes and captured Kageyama’s lips in a kiss which was readily returned, shock and excitement rippled through the crowd in waves. Miya laughed, his hand slipping down to Sakusa’s waist with the motion of it. Sakusa snuck a kiss onto the side of Miya’s head, feeling reckless and happy. As if anyone would be looking their way when there was a spectacle like Hinata and Kageyama at centre-court.

The next day, though, Sakusa awoke to an insane amount of twitter notifications. The photo of Hinata and Kageyama kissing that Barnes had posted had gone viral, and someone had zoomed in on the photo to the background where two Black Jackals could be seen with their arms around each other, one of them seemingly kissing the other on the side of the head. Though it was hard to tell any details and neither of their uniform numbers or faces were discernable, since all of their other teammates were visible elsewhere on the court people were speculating that it had to be him and Miya. He rubbed his eyes and put his phone in his pyjama pocket, picking up Momo and walking blearily to the kitchen with her. As he poured a coffee, his phone rang and he saw that it was Miya.

“Good morning,” he answered, leaning against the counter and taking a sip.

“Hey babe, um, did ya by any chance…” Miya began, but hesitated.

“I saw,” he replied.

“Yeah. About that.” Miya said. He could hear sounds of traffic in the background.

“Come over and we’ll figure it out?” Sakusa said, though he assumed that’s what Miya was currently doing.

“Yeah, I’m on my way,” he said. “I’ve been ignorin’ calls from Osamu since that bastard woke me up at 6:30 this mornin’.” Sakusa looked at the clock. It was just before 8am.

“Have you eaten anything? I’ll start making something,” Sakusa said, and they hung up to reconvene in the next few minutes when Miya arrived. Sakusa stood in the hallway with two mugs of coffee as Miya quickly came in and washed up. Once he was done, Sakusa passed him the second mug and pulled him into a half hug.

“Sorry. I was reckless,” Sakusa said. Miya hummed and leaned in for a moment before pulling away. Momo threaded her way between both of their legs. She had not only gotten used to Miya's presence by now, but she sought out his attention and affection hungrily just like Sakusa himself did. Miya took a sip of coffee and crouched down to give her a fond chin-rub before looking up at Sakusa.

“I’ll never be mad at ya for givin’ me a smooch,” he said, smiling, then stood and leaned in again for a peck on the lips that ended up lingering a bit longer. When they broke apart they went into the kitchen and sat down at the counter. “We knew this’d happen eventually. We’re sorta famous an’ people have the hots for us. We could totally play it off as more ‘ship’ nonsense. Or, d’ya think now’s the time?” Miya asked as they began eating breakfast. Sakusa considered for a moment.

“Well, it’s kind of silly to put a lot of effort into crushing rumours that are actually true if we want to go back on them at some point in the future. I think I’m comfortable if you are,” he said. Miya smiled and reached his feet from his own stool to intertwine them with Sakusa’s feet on his stool.

“Okay, so whadda we do?” Miya asked.

The two spent the next part of the morning with their heads bent together over their phones, trying to figure out the best way to make their announcement. Since it had already blown up on twitter, they figured they would just make a post there and then follow up with their team in person tomorrow when they returned to practice. Sakusa suggested he make the post because he reasoned people would be more likely to take it seriously if it came from him. Miya agreed and suggested they include a photo. They looked through the few photos they had together and decided on the saved snapchat they had taken in the locker room the first week they’d started seeing each other which Sakusa had sent to Komori. In the photo they were leaning shoulder to shoulder against the lockers and holding up their intertwined hands so they would be in-frame. Miya had an adorably-big grin on his face and Sakusa had a more bashful small smile and soft blush on his. Sakusa still kept this photo and thought it was cute because they’d been so new and excited, but still a little shy about everything. He reasoned that it was also simple but still conveyed the truth behind their announcement without being too invasive for comfort. Sakusa had never gotten used to thirst tweets and didn’t want to give them any encouragement.

Satisfied with their choice and with the wording of their tweet, Sakusa hit send and Miya sent off the first reply so people would know they were both in on it. Then they both muted their phones and left them on the counter, going to curl up together on the couch with a second mug of coffee and a movie as the bright morning sun filtered through the plants on the windowsill. Momo followed them in and stretched languidly before settling down in front of the sliding door in a patch of sunlight. Sakusa could barely contain the warmth that filled his chest right now with Miya in his arms, and he gave him a squeeze.

“Atsumu,” he whispered as the opening credits played. Miya lazily hummed in reply, nestled into his shoulder comfortably. “I love you,” he said. Miya turned to look at him with an amazed expression on his face. He almost spilled their coffees as he threw his arm around Sakusa’s neck and pressed his forehead to Sakusa’s.

“I love ya, too” he said, before pressing their lips together in a long kiss. When he pulled away he was smiling with his eyes closed. “Kiyoomi,” he breathed, almost reverently. Sakusa thought he saw the beading of tears at the corner of Miya’s eyes.

Sakusa laughed. Maybe he was laughing at Miya’s absurdity. Maybe he was laughing at the thought of their friends and their team reacting to their big news, or at the fact that they were grown men who had somehow managed to wind up playing volleyball for a living. Maybe he was laughing at the person he’d been a few months ago when he’d first invited Miya home to his apartment, or the person he’d been in high school when he’d hated that setter from Inarizaki. Or maybe, on this bright morning with Miya Atsumu in his arms, the taste of last night’s victory still on his tongue and the hope of living openly as partners in his heart, Sakusa was just laughing because he was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -lmao Hinata and Bokuto. These boys ♡♡♡  
> -me, talking to my cat after posting the first chapter: "you're right, we should absolutely make Atsumu and Sakusa _even softer_ "  
> -me, writing about Sakusa's anxious days: *sweats in self-projection*  
> -sorry Atsumu that you got roasted by your mom but also, not sorry  
> -Atsumu sits on all chairs in a bisexual way, no I will not elaborate  
> -also, normalize relationships where people aren't jealous that their partners have had previous relationships/hookups/crushes cuz that shit is NORMAL lol  
> -me, using the canadian spellings of "favourite," "neighbourhood," "behaviour" etc. as well as the extended spelling of "Shouyou" even though ao3 keeps trying to tell me I've spelled them all wrong: _you_ get a 'u' and _you_ get a 'u' and you get a 'u', everybody's getting a 'u'!!!  
> -I have built personalities in my head (in my _heart_ ) for the rest of the black jackals from scratch and I _cherish them,_ sorry if y'all don't love goss-hound heart-of-gold Barnes, shithead gremlin smolboy Inunaki, easy-going fun-loving Adriah, and team dad Meian like I do lol. I really dig into them in my other fic, the twitter fic companion to this piece (link below in notes)  
> -thank you all for reading!!! maybe now that I've finished writing this I will be f r e e (*immediately turns to my other fic* "I—")  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> -I hope you like my interpretation of these characters! I wanted to delve a little bit into these two and why they would make a good match for each other despite being very different. I hope I hit the balance between introspection and interaction well.  
> -I really really really love Sakusa because I relate hardcore to him.  
> -If you're interested, I have written another fic that is the twitter equivalent to this story (including the infamous Kageyama-Hinata twitter feud which comes up in chapter 2). Sorry if I reuse some of the same jokes, I think I am funnier than I am. Find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24601522?view_full_work=true)


End file.
